the water was as wet as always. that was constant. that would never change. i was wet and shivering. the circumstance allowed for that. i prayed to god for that to change.
"ready?"
eyes closed, nose held, i plunged into the water. i did my best to maneuver myself into a sitting position in the shallow water. i made myself open my eyes. i scanned the water for his movement, and saw something vague. and then as soon as it began, it ended, and i allowed myself to resurface. i coughed, but i tried not to make myself apparent as i slid to grass and coughed out all my doubts and all my concerns. they stared back at me, pitifully, watching this form make its way to the grass. this pathetic paraplegic crawling to its destination. this wounded animal ready to be put out of its misery.
"what's wrong?"
i hadn't noticed him. my throat felt tight, and i felt the blood threatening to break its way through my cheeks.
i'm afraid, i think.
"i'm cold."
my face fell into my knees, but quickly i relapsed into sitting again. the scrapes were visible through the dress that clung so desperately to my skin.
"do you mind?"
i shook my head no out of habit. i don't have half a mind these days. the flicker of a flame from his lighter to his cigar caught my attention. it pierced our midnight, and it illuminated his presence.
"what have we come to?"
he took a drag from his cigar and leaned his head back to the heavens, to the stars. he exhaled and let his eyelids gently close. but that's okay - god wasn't watching anymore.